M4RM - Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Quote: Ferris - “Cameron has never been in love. At least, nobody’s ever been in love with him. If things don’t change for him, he’s gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she’s gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he was built up in his mind and the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won’t respect him, ’cause you can’t respect someone who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”

What makes a film a Movie for Real Men? If you don’t know, then you probably aren’t a real man. However, maybe you can gleam a bit of what is needed from the first movie to join the ranks of M4RM. What man can’t appreciate another man’s glorious quest for debauchery and freedom? What man wouldn’t want a full day of leisure with his exceptional woman and loyal best friend? What man can’t relate to the bitch cock-block, either with women or in life, who spitefully tries to bring you down at every turn? What real man wouldn’t insist on buying Ferris Bueller a beer, or offer him warm gummy bears, if one ever met him? There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that can match the fiendish style of humor this movie brings to the game.

Though not yet a man when we meet him, Ferris Bueller manages to relate to the devious boy in all of us from the very first scene. Tricking his extremely gullible parents with clammy hands and a pathetic cough, his “worst performance” at that, Ferris makes sure to prove that his art is honed to perfection. The bastard Dean of Students, Ed Rooney, along with his own sister Jeanie, refuses to believe that this trouble-maker is anything but, and from then on it’s a roller coaster of hilarity as we witness one boy just too awesome for the world to hold him back. The whole town is even thrown for a loop as the entire student body sports various forms of “Save Ferris“ paraphernalia to support Bueller and his death-bed sickness. Of course, Ferris is just having his way with the town in a shiny, red Ferrari, his best friend and one hell of a girl.

Any man watching Ferris do his work would have to have the utmost respect for this professional vacationer. He even has the consideration to frequently break 4th wall and explain his motives and actions to those without the common sense to determine such. Director John Hughes did an incredible job making art out of this 6-day script, one that he wrote himself. I, for one, am forever grateful. So, without further ado, we congratulate Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for being the first film to gain the prestigious title of Movies for Real Men.