First of all, this guide can and will be expanded, there are so many ways to fail that will be covered, but i'll start with some of the more obvious.


I'm sure you want to know, what is failure?

Actual Definition
Noun:
Singular: Failure
Plural: Failures

A state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, opposite of success. An object, person or endeavour/campaign in a state of failure or incapable of success.
Termination of the ability of an item to perform its required function.


Yeah, whatever. Many topics here at ARG! Feature various members failing miserably. I'll post a few for you to look at, notice the posts made by the Norse and myself.
Notice the posts made by Axel. Do you see the slight differences?

Ollerus' Guide to Making an Argument
Pakistani's

This is one of a group of very special topics, as it has one of ARG!'s most well-known failures disgracing the thread in her own unique way. Her name is Nealen.
Baldr is better than you. Accept it.

Personal Definition of Failure

Failure is and always has been the incompetance of a human or a device of any kind. There are so many ways to fail, so here are a few for you to look at.
Failure to comply
Failure to cooperate
Fail at life
Fail at verbal communication


Now then, I know you all want to know how NOT to fail like Nealen and Axel, so in the below areas of this post, you will see my methods of Avoiding Failure:

I fail during public appearances, how do I fix this?
Why this one is simple. simply watch your step, contemplate your statements while others speak and don't act impulsively. Many of your impulses are childish or illegal, so just go by common sense.

Watch my step? How does this help me Avoid Failure?
Tripping up on anything or even nothing will force others to see that you are failing during a public appearance. Look before you leap!

I always stutter and/or forget what I am going to say, can this be fixed too?
Easily, as I said earlier, think about your response while the other people are talking, if you have a saying fresh in your mind, chances are you won't fuck up and stutter. Non-medical speech impediments fail!

It worked, but I still think I fail, why?
If you believe you DON'T fail, you'll most likely switch to thinking you succeed. If you start thinking it often enough, you will eventually start to succeed in life.

I found an awesome new website with a forum and games, but whenever I make a post there, it feels like I'm STILL failing!
Either you don't believe you're a success
OR
You still fail at E-Appearances. You can easily fix this through believing yourself to be confident, cool, collected and strong. Like the belief in success, these will become an adamant part of your personality with time.

Don't try to pretend you are a success, BELIEVE and you will succeed.

It's working, but I'm still not doing that well.
Give it a bit more time, there are guides here at ARG! that will help you with various parts of your life. Simply seek out the Norse Gods here and look into their Signatures, they have many guides to help you strengthen your mindset.

I followed the guides, the more I tell myself I am what they tell me, the better I feel about myself!
Of course, the guides are there to educate the majority, but sometimes they still make a person fail.

Just a few more questions. What is E-Failure?
Near the top of the Guide is a list of topics infested with posts made by the members Nealen and Axel. They are great examples of E-Failure and Failure in Debate.

Failure in Debate?
Yeah, it's how some people resort to such things as Straw Men, Stonewalling and Changing the Subject. That is failure, unless the statement above failed enough that the current topic had to comprehensible reason to continue.

Being able to succeed in a Debate is about supporting your side of the argument with actual statistic, scientifically proven facts and cornering statements near the end. Debates are battles of wit, closing off an argument with a few last words is the main way to win in a debate, try watching the Norse in action and you'll see what I mean.


Now that that's settled, let's figure how to not fail while trying to get a date, here i'll be explaining How Not to Fail a Relationship:

I went back to the Real World and got myself a date with what these guides taught me, I don't want to fail miserably, how do I do this?
Women like to be pampered and chances are, you're too weak to fight back if you fuck up and she sends someone after you.
Remember, women are emotional/mental train wrecks, but it isn't that hard to get on their good side, no matter their mood.

At certain times, during her Period she may become loud, angry and violent. Simply agree with her while she goes on her rampage. Other times, she will become reclusive, quiet and somewhat paranoid, all you have to do is give her the attention she wants, stay close to her and make sure she stays in a relatively good mood. Now then, when she becomes all happy and loving, just have fun, don't get serious and make sure she enjoys herself.

With these bits of information out there, you should be ready for the majority of the date, though much has been left to cover. During your date, make sure you keep the girls interests, a few questions at the start should help you figure her out.

Now that you know what she is like, get her going in a conversation she'll be able to talk about until it's time to head for home. Agree with her for most of the conversation, if it gets dull, pop a few jokes in while you get it going again, normally if she doesn't laugh, you need a good cover-up to cancel out your fuck-up.

Now, at her doorstep, after continuing the conversation on the way home, make sure you've been flirting with her on the way from the restaurant to her front door. Most men can tell whether or not she wants you to kiss her, if not, simply look deeply into her eyes and ask her something like "What, no good-night kiss?". Do it right and she'll definetly want to come along for another date. Mission accomplished.

A bit complicated there, but it worked! Now what?
Second date, make sure it's about a month away. Stay in constant contact with her, make her laugh and comfort her whenever she needs it.
This time around, you should be able to get flirty and somewhat intimate much sooner, so try it out, if she doesn't get too close too quickly, slow it down and ask her if she'd like to go somewhere else.

Take her wherever she wants, make sure it's within your budget, though. If you can manage a movie you'll both enjoy, such as a romantic comedy, you should be able to get in even closer with her. Just keep yourself on track with what you did on the first date and you'll be able to get in much closer with her.

Thanks for the advice! When should I ask her to be my girlfriend?
I would suggest five dates would do it, after the second she should be able to set a good night for both of you.

Keep getting intimate, within your boundaries. Personally, it didn't take me long to get a good girlfriend after I reached a comfortable stage, like when she let me in for a kiss whenever I wanted.

Now it's time to ask her, since the fifth date is over and done with. Demanding things would most likely get you slapped, unless you stage your demands as a joke, keep her laughing and enjoying herself if it doesn't work and ask afterwards. Easy pickings, as long as you didn't fuck up.

We're a happy couple now, but she keeps giving me hints or acting strangely with me, what does it mean?
If she looks at your (most likely un-exposed) penis, it's kind've explains itself there.
If she bites her lip while looking, that's also self-explanatory.
To be honest, if she's giving you so many hints, it's painfully obvious she wants a cock in her mouth/vagina\shitter (and in some rare cases, the ear, but we won't get into that)

Remember to think back to the Norse God's guides, they have much more detailed information on this subject!

Well you were right, she wanted to have sex, should I?
Don't disobey the vagina/mouth\shitter, my friend. Religion is a crock anyways, go do what nature intended, bend over & dominate her.


And now that you have the attitude and information needed to do the majority of your shit, you now now how to:
Avoid Failure
Not Fail a Relationship

To the rest of ARG!, let's hear how you've failed and what you did about it, if anything, chances are, the Norse Gods here at ARG! will step in to help you correct your failures.

If you really need some information on How Not to Fail and can't find what you need in my Guide or the others i've recommended, just send me a PM and you'll get your answer.

__________________
"My views on humanity? It is a disease, something that cannot be taught through a gentle push. No... We cannot be saved, our greed, our passion and our lust for knowledge has destroyed that which we have held dear. Humanity is below this world, my friend."

http://www.arg.com/hangout/7810-gene...-not-fail.html
For those who see flaws in our earth, discuss how and what you would change here.
http://www.arg.com/group.php?groupid=70
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlULgi92zK8

This is marked with Baldr's stamp of approval.

__________________
Baldr's own "Poetic Edda":
• Breidablik's Field of Honor: Rules of Engagement
• How to Build an Aura.
• Baldr is better than you. Accept it.
• Why most women are morons.
• Baldr takes requests. Send him a visitor message if you want Baldr to write something in particular.

If you need to contact Baldr, please consider using the Visitor Message system before private messaging him.

For the most part, agreed. Obviously I'd have issue with the religion part but yes, don't fail.

__________________


So I'm moving on
I'll never forget
As you lay there and watched me
Accepting the end

Dream Theater - Disappear

Guru, we're classified as animals, all animals have the same instincts "Fuck like rabbits" is valid for any species, even humans. Religion is almost like a bad friend... Bad friends cock block.

__________________
"My views on humanity? It is a disease, something that cannot be taught through a gentle push. No... We cannot be saved, our greed, our passion and our lust for knowledge has destroyed that which we have held dear. Humanity is below this world, my friend."

http://www.arg.com/hangout/7810-gene...-not-fail.html
For those who see flaws in our earth, discuss how and what you would change here.
http://www.arg.com/group.php?groupid=70
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlULgi92zK8

Lets not turn this into a Religious discussion.

__________________
Baldr's own "Poetic Edda":
• Breidablik's Field of Honor: Rules of Engagement
• How to Build an Aura.
• Baldr is better than you. Accept it.
• Why most women are morons.
• Baldr takes requests. Send him a visitor message if you want Baldr to write something in particular.

If you need to contact Baldr, please consider using the Visitor Message system before private messaging him.

Nice guide.

Yeah, but i'm just saying, it's only natural for us to want to whip it out and ram it somewhere.

__________________
"My views on humanity? It is a disease, something that cannot be taught through a gentle push. No... We cannot be saved, our greed, our passion and our lust for knowledge has destroyed that which we have held dear. Humanity is below this world, my friend."

http://www.arg.com/hangout/7810-gene...-not-fail.html
For those who see flaws in our earth, discuss how and what you would change here.
http://www.arg.com/group.php?groupid=70
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlULgi92zK8

I´ll share.

I failed by fucking with the Norse. After awhile I realized they were genius,and prayed forgiveness. Now,I think we´re cool. I´ll show how I failed when I find the post

__________________

Everybody fucks with the norse at some point in time. I think the only one I haven't pissed off yet is Thor.

__________________
"My views on humanity? It is a disease, something that cannot be taught through a gentle push. No... We cannot be saved, our greed, our passion and our lust for knowledge has destroyed that which we have held dear. Humanity is below this world, my friend."

http://www.arg.com/hangout/7810-gene...-not-fail.html
For those who see flaws in our earth, discuss how and what you would change here.
http://www.arg.com/group.php?groupid=70
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlULgi92zK8

Actually, no one has successfully pissed Baldr off. Baldr can't speak for his brethren, but Baldr is sure the same goes for them. You kids don't have the capability of actually pissing Baldr off.

__________________
Baldr's own "Poetic Edda":
• Breidablik's Field of Honor: Rules of Engagement
• How to Build an Aura.
• Baldr is better than you. Accept it.
• Why most women are morons.
• Baldr takes requests. Send him a visitor message if you want Baldr to write something in particular.

If you need to contact Baldr, please consider using the Visitor Message system before private messaging him.