ARG! Teen Forums

Hey Guys,
I'm 18 years old and I live in California. I'm from Poland. I hate my parents so much, they put me down for everything. They think I can't handle difficult tasks and tell my that I'm lazy and they dislike my friends because I go out with them and party, smoke drink. I did shoplifting with my friends and once I remember I didn't take anything but one of my friends did and we got caught, I wasn't mad at him, but my parents were...when they found out they yelled at me talked about how they'll send me back to Europe for not being responsible, but I just said something to my mom I dont remember what and just ran away from home for couple days to one of my buddies few streets away from my house. I came back after few days and I didn't talk about what happened with my parents.
I forgive my friends for everything they did/said to me, I have no other choice, if I would ignore them I would have no friends. because I'm from Europe. I been living in United States for little bit over 3 years and I cant fit in with locals because I act talk differently then people that were born here. I try talking to different kind nationality people, but it just seems I have nothing in common with them, I just feel like I'm not welcome here. I would like to fit it, but I don't know how. Europeans and People from United States are VERY different...
I'm not very talkative, when I go somewhere with my friends we drink, smoke and talk, but I dont talk I just listen. I try talking, but when I talk I run out of words, I don't know what to say and I feel stupid think people think that I'm some empty minded person BUT IM NOT...I would like to get more talkative, I would like to have something on my car, that I wouldn't need to wait for my friend to come to my house so he can pick me up and we would go somewhere...I feel if I have something my own, like a car and some money, people would take me more seriously...but I dont like my friends, because there's like 6-7 of us and we all try be the most smartest, "coolest" in the group... as I seen through time we all talk nice to each other, but when someone leaves, ALWAYS one of from my group starts talking shit about the person. I dislike my friends because they can't be like real friends... I can't talk to any single one of em about something that I dislike or something that is bothering me because I know they will put it in their own words make me look like sh*t and make fun of my feelings. One thing that we all have in common is that we all from same country, we all love adrenalin and we like to party a lot...I just would like to separate from the group, "get" one or two true friends that wouldn't be jealous of what I have, friends that would like go out camping, friends that would let me be comfortable around them, friends that would enjoy doing something that I like with me...
I'm skinny I'm like 6'3 and I weight about 1 60lbs.. I talk down to myself sometimes, that I'm too skinny that I'm not attractive..I should wear glasses but I don't just because I don't want to look nerdy, but my doctor says I need to wear them because in the future my vision my get worse...I go to wikihow and search for things like "how to be confident", "how to be more talkative", "how to get people to like you"... I don't tell anyone because I think people would think I'm a loser.
Sometimes I looked for how to kill yourself, because I felt like I'm not worth anything that I'm just a lazy guy with a lot of problems, I thought that my death would make life easier for my parents and myself, I just want everything to end, so I wouldn't need to think. But I'm to much of a puss to kill myself.... think I was spoiled to much when I was little and I got use to things come to me...
I don't even know why I'm telling you this, but I just wanted to know your opinion on my lifestyle, what you think about me?

paragraphs dont even connect, ideas are confusing, but fuk it I just wrote everything that came to my mind...

Oh my god...

Whinger.

Your life isnt that bad. Get over yourself.

after I read it, it really isn't that bad as I thought. From boy to a Man, that's what it is...

Yeah you're slowly maturing if you're 18 and still feeling sorry for yourself. I'm glad you realize what your getting yourself in to.

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I Rip Face.

slowly maturing?
is that whats happening to me?

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I lived in a village that had few stores, I went to a school with 100 other kids...Nearest city was 30-40 miles away...When my family won green card, it was like we won a million... It would have been better if I would've came here when I was little...

That's interesting.

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I Rip Face.

see?
you're lucky , thats not bad

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I had a friend who goes to high school in a place in Norway. There are less that 150 kids there. The nearest city is not 30-40 miles, it's 200-300 Miles. You have it good.

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I Rip Face.

Life is not like in the movies, it's much tougher then that....I just need to be quick at thinking