My Momma

MissyK · #1 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 09:44 PM

My parents have been married for 19 years and they seem to be happy. But I'm pretty sure my mom is seeing another man. She's constantly leaving home in revealing (embrassing) outfits and is gone for hours at a time. I also found an old bithday card adressed to her in her dresser drawer that went along the lines of saying : Happy Birthday to the only woman I will ever truely love. Signed by a man who is NOT my father. She's on the phone alot now and I can tell it's a man who is talking to her.

This is really getting to me and I want to say something to her but I'm afraid of what might happen. So is it best to just let this go or should I ask about it? Has this ever happend to any of you?

Njord · #2 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 10:15 PM

Tell her, honestly because it's disturbing to you and is disrupting your outlook on life (happiness, whatever). In other words, you seemed worried about it, and because she's responsible for your emotional stability, it is your right to know.

**Sir. Lucian Adonis** · #3 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 10:41 PM

truely.

I have never been in that situation, howvere I can guess at how hurtful that must be.

I agree with Njord.
Just a short expression of your worries should be given to it.

Good luck luv.

MissyK · #4 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 11:18 PM

I'm not sure how I should talk to her about it. We've never been close and we don't talk all that much. Should I ask her straight out if she's having an affair? "So momma, are you fuckin around or what?" And what about my dad? Its like he's retarded - no clue. What should I do about that?

**Sir. Lucian Adonis** · #5 (**permalink**) 06-01-2008, 11:50 PM

You should just to your mom and concernadly ask her whats going on.
Its pointless beating around the bush.

But if you feel you should stay out of it telling your dad would be good.
but it whats you decide.

Forseti · #6 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Njord

Tell her, honestly because it's disturbing to you and is disrupting your outlook on life (happiness, whatever). In other words, you seemed worried about it, and because she's responsible for your emotional stability, it is your right to know.

I agree with what Njord is saying here whole-heartedly.

I just wanted to add that you should also do it because if there is a prolonged silence with regard to the issue, then it's just going to become a bigger burden to bear, and it's not even yours. No one would expect you to have to carry the weight of this around on your own, it's not fair for you to have to do so. I understand why you would probably not want to say anything to your mom, but this ceases to be a personal issue of your mothers when it is directly affecting you. It's something (or someone) your mother is doing and it should be on her to deal with it, not you.

**Sir. Lucian Adonis** · #7 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 02:52 AM

Quote:

I just wanted to add that you should also do it because if there is a prolonged silence with regard to the issue, then it's just going to become a bigger burden to bear, and it's not even yours. No one would expect you to have to carry the weight of this around on your own, it's not fair for you to have to do so. I understand why you would probably not want to say anything to your mom, but this ceases to be a personal issue of your mothers when it is directly affecting you. It's something (or someone) your mother is doing and it should be on her to deal with it, not you.

well put ~applaudes~

Odin · #8 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 04:21 AM

If you can't tell your mother, tell your father. Odds are if a snot-nosed kid found the signs, so has he. However, adults have something children do not (to some degree). This is a great sense of self-delusion. Adults will use a type of doublethink when they notice a problem that's so bad they don't want to deal with it and lie to themselves until they can't see the problem anymore.

Odds are, your father has seen it and noticed it but is ignoring it until it goes away. If he's embarrassed by his little girl pointing it out to him, it MAY spring him into action. Maybe.

If you can't tell your mother, tell your father. Odds are if a snot-nosed kid found the signs, so has he. However, adults have something children do not (to some degree). This is a great sense of self-delusion. Adults will use a type of doublethink when they notice a problem that's so bad they don't want to deal with it and lie to themselves until they can't see the problem anymore.

Odds are, your father has seen it and noticed it but is ignoring it until it goes away. If he's embarrassed by his little girl pointing it out to him, it MAY spring him into action. Maybe.

PatrickS · #9 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 04:59 AM

Meh...Just be subtle about it.

Odin · #10 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 05:08 AM

WRONG! Go sit in the corner for being stupid!

Subtlety will not work here.

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