Normally I wouldn't ask for anyones advice, imo I think it's a sign of weakness. But only for me, if anyone asks for advice I don't think they are weak but just need a crutch. My problem is probably a little unique...

Whenever I feel like hatred or sorrow I don't show it, at all. I hold it all in and it just sorta festers inside of me I guess. I know I ain't the first to do this, but in this day of age, it isn't too common.

But the problem isn't that I want to mess with that emotion, because I don't want to show emotion, I mean sometimes I'll get angry, but most of the time i'll just hide it and say i'm not mad and laugh in the person's face. So, it's weird because it seems as time goes on and the more that builds up, the more things effect me. I mean nothing yet out of hatred has bothered me, but things like I get this strange feeling of anxiety at the end of certain books I read, movies I watch, and games I beat.

I honestly loathe it, but love it at the same time. But I do know I want to make it stop, I mean sometimes i'll just have to sit there still for awhile to make sure I don't do anything destructive. Sounds crazy I know, but imo i'd rather be doing this than crying at every little problem and getting pissed off when someone bugs me.

Usually the things that bother me are things that I really get into, like stuff i breath, drink and eat. Some examples was when I beat Final Fantasy 8, Watched whole way through Lotr series, and alot of my fav characters died off in one book in a HUGE series called Dragonlance. Those are the ones I remember.

The most recent occurence was a few minutes ago when I finished the book "The Pigman" by Paul Zindel, which sounds dumb but it isn't like a pig/man creature... I guess it's a drama but I can't think of how to classify it as. I only just got it today in English to read, she gave us 2 weeks but it's only I think 143 pages so I finished it today. So you see I wasn't even into this, I just wanted to read it to get it over with.

I'd talk about the book, but I forget how to make hide/reveal tags, so it isn't a spoiler.

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What are you exactly asking for advice about?

It sounds to me like you're wondering if its okay to "let it out." I'd say that it is. Get a punching bag. Beat the shit out of it. And not for the simple reason of "beating shit = feeling better." I mean, sure it does, but the reason is that you should do it to the point that you are physically exhausted, and you don;t have the energy left to be pissed. Also, physical exercise releases endorphines, which I can't spell properly, but for all intents and purposes are the chemical your brain releases to make you happy. Also, do it without gloves. If you can punch hard enough, the pain in your hands will "snap you out of it" to an extent.

(If you don;t have a punching bag, than brick walls are a nice substitute, although not very smart. Try running.)

Moral: The destructiveness that comes from anger is 100% normal, and its okay to express it. Just do so towards something that can handle it.

Yeah brick wall... friend broke his hand doing that. Running doesn't help, just makes me exhausted and even worse with mountain air. High altitude in other terms.

Yeah I guess I wasn't to straight forward with what I need help with. That is how to make this feeling stop from coming back, and there is no way I could release all my emotions built up right now on a punching bag, although that would help if I had one for further build up.

When it comes out, it's all going to come out, and I have a feeling i'm going to do something very bad, when I was younger I blacked out punching a teacher(male) in 5th grade, and that started the supressing because I didn't like the feeling of not being in control of my own body.

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You got a girlfriend? One you really love? (Not just someone you have sex with on a regular basis.) When you have someone like that that, you just can;t get angry. All that anger and sadness gets replaced by love and joy.

No, I can't hold onto a relationship longer than 2 months, and out of all my girlfriend(I guess 10-20, don't exactly count) and none of them felt much like love, well one sorta, the only preppy chick I went out with lol.

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Then you might as well learn what we've been telling you guys for weeks. You're too young to love, it's pointless. Have fun and do you.

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I know, I don't believe in love anyways, just an extreme effection and an emotional attachment of being around someone for a long time. But I just use love to sum it up. Besides all the girls my age around here who have sex just for fun is the sluts with STI's. Maybe I can hook up with this teacher in training chick who's like 20 haha, only 4 years apart it's legal... I think.

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idk i run whenever im feelin stressed. u come home dead tired but it gets rid of most of my stress. when im really pissed off ill do 10-12 miles. i think its easier to get a runners high when ur stressed out bcuz i can only do like 5-6 miles without too much trouble in a really good mood but at least twice that when im angry.

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Rape life. Hump it up the honcho.

Haha you got me beat on the running thing for sure. In all ways.

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Ryan, you know we have the same issue. Personally, I just turn up some heavy ass metal and totally just go berzerk. It puts alot of stress on your body, but it calms you down and makes you a little bit stronger.

Its the perfect solution, actually. Last week, about a month after I started training again, I tried lifting weights, couldn't pull off what I had before...So I decided to just totally lose my shit. Two days later when I could walk a bit better, I realised I could lift atleast 10 lbs more, easy.

Still, if you love the feeling, this always helps, and the 'addiction' to the feeling of power you gain from anger will eventually die out as you calm yourself more and more.