Odin's Guide to Why You're NOT in Love!

Odin · #1 (**permalink**) 08-29-2008, 03:37 PM

OK, listen you malformed, insidious, puke filled puss bags full of teenage hormones and semen. Odin is sick and tired of all the countless threads of you fuckers saying "Oh I'm in love with my boyfriend/girlfriend/goat." Or "I fucked up and now I lost the woman/boy/chainsaw I love."

Well, let me clue you all in on a little something.

YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN LOVE! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!

Read that bolded/italicized/underlined sentences a few times before it sinks in. Who am I kidding, it didn't sink in.

"BUT ODIN! I AM SOOOOOO IN LOVE! YOU DON'T KNOW ME, YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!"

Well, listen there Paco, I do know you. You're a god damn idiotic teenager who doesn't know dick about shit. You have no idea what the world will bring. All you know is the microcosm of your high school.

There is a whole world out there that you know nothing about. You will not be the same person after your first semester of college that you are now, and if you are, then you're a loser. College is about growth.

Not going to college? No problem. The real world will give you even more experience than the fake world of college. You will learn way more about yourself in college or in the real job world then you ever will in high school where you are now.

Love is an intangible subject. It can't be grasped. I don't understand it, and I'm smarter than you mother fuckers, so if I can't get it, you can't. That's a scientific fact. You're too young to understand it. Straight up. It requires years and years of real world experience you don't have.

How many times have you ever heard some dumb ass, punk, teenage kid say "oh I love my girlfriend." Then the next day they turn around, get drunk off of one beer, kiss some other skank and then whine because they lost the woman they loved.

Guess what, Poncho? You didn't love her or you wouldn't have sucked face with Slutty McBigtits. You're just a kid who likes hooking up.

Listen, at our age, we're not meant to be monogamous. Our dicks and pussies guide us around. Guys will fuck anything that'll let us and women crave dick to make them feel (ful)filled. That's the nature of the beast. It's what we're meant to do at this age. Don't get mad at a dog for barking or a bear for shitting in the woods.

So look. You don't love her/him/cat. Get over it and yourself. You'll find another pussy to diddle. You love getting laid frequently, you don't love her.

So speaketh Odin.

You can rebut me, but you'll be wrong.