I'm so sorry this is long but I'd be SO grateful for some advice:
There's a long story behind this so I'll try so hard to give you the icture in as short as possible.
This guy is my best guy friend and I've liked him for a long time as more than that, I recently told him to which he replied the hideous "I just want to be friends", which I wish he'd left it at as it wasn't nice to hear but at least I could have dealt with it and got over it. Almost all of our friends had said to me that he BLATENTLY likes me and that I should do someting, this is all without me mentioning anyting. Everyone comments on how we are together and how I'm blind for not realising he likes me.

I expected him to say what he did regardless of what people had said. I've never had a boyfriend before and I don't have much confidence with things like this but I feel SO comfortable aroun him and we are SO close and get on SO well I felt able and willing to tell him I liked him and risk our friendship. He means that much to me.

A few days after I told him i liked him he mentioned it again and brought it up and after 3 days f misery and trying to come to terms with the fact that the 1st guy in my life I felt comrtable and confident enough with to even THINK about being with, only likes me as a friend, he changed everything again.

He said he answered that he wanted to be friends because he was worried that if things went wrong with us that he'd loose me and that he was worried that it wold not be easy to stay in contact with me and my flatmates (his friends too) if things happened with us then fell apart. He said his relaionships havent lasted long so he didn't want to risk tht with me, he said "I want to know you for ages but be mates for a while" ... to me this means that he wanted to be friends for a while and see what happens and all of these things pointed to him actually liking me but being too worried and tentative to do anything. I REALLY understood this and respected this and agreed and it gave me so much hope and I was so happy. He said tha I'm his closest female friend and that spending time with me is so special to him and I'm his "rock" at uni and he always feels himself around me and he's always here for me...so many amazing things. I was SO happy and allowed myself to hope and feel this happiness.

A week and a bit later he came back to Uni for a bit to stay and tht night we all went to a get together and had a few drinks (I don't drink but he does) and both of us plus one of our friends went back to mine and ended up watching a movie on my bed. He's a naturally cuddly guy and this is in his nature, this needs to be pointed out. When we were watching the film he put his arms around me and hugged me so tight and had me all wrapped up in his arms. He kept squeezing me and holding myhands and stroking my hair and shoulder and hand and kissed my head and then lifted my top up at the back and was slowly stroking my back...
As you can probably guess I was SO confused. It was amazing and I've NEVER in my life felt like that. EVER. I've never been cuddled like that before and I've always dreamed of it and to me it was a big deal. I was SO comfortable and happy and felt ...well...just wow.

He elft for home the next day and I guessed I wouldn't se him for a bit and was so confused as he just hugged me and kissed my cheek and left...I text him saying ti was the best sleep/non sleep I've ver had and got no reply. He ignored it all and ventho i wanted to ask im face to face what it meant i couldnt so I sent him an email telling him i was so confused and it was a massive heartfelt email asking for an explanation etc

He basically messaged back "I really only want to be friends" and it was only a short-ish message and made me feel like THE biggest fool. He apoligised for confusing me and said he was just in a cuddly mood he guesses as he gets even MORE cuddly once he's had a drink and guesses he needed a cuddle.

I was devestated. Totally and utterly and felt foolish, stupid and membarrassed and it is so unfair. That hug was NOT a hug between friends and after feeling the way i did and letting myself hope and cherishing that hug, to be told it meant nothing, really really hurts.
It broke my heart as I'd hoped and felt so happy for 2-3 weeks thinking things could happen between us and i LET MYSELF do this for the 1st time in my whole life.
Never felt as sad and let down in my life.

I sent him a reply explaining how upset I was and asking him why he hugged me like that if he only wanted to be friends and would he hug other female friends like that? Als why, knowing i liked him, did he do it? ETC I basically just explained how I was devestated that one of the most special people in my life could make me feel like this and how it was hurting so much having to say these things to him.

Ive had no reply. It's been 3 days now and it hurts so badly. I miss him terribly as USUALLY we text, FaceBook, MSN, talk on phone when were not together or we are actually together...I feel like i've lost him totally and he's SUCH an amazing amazing friend and I'm so upset and have n idea what to do. What he did was unfair and I had to tell him because I can't deal with being confused about us and feeling lead on etc, as much as it hurt, I needed to know where i stood.

I don't know what to do or if i did the right thing. I was honest and I guess that's all I could be. He's avoided me for 3 days now and it's awful.

What do you think? Any words of wisdo, advice or anything would be amazing right now......

Thank you so much for readin i know it's long.
x x x

You're being clingy. I could've told you he was the first guy you really liked without the introduction. Back off a bit, and calm down. He wants to be friends, so you need to make sure that line is bold, black, and drawn across the boundaries so that your feelings/emotions/confidence doesn't continue to take blows. You're HOPING he will like you and WISHING he'll just take it one step further, and you're setting yourself up for disappointment and rejection everytime.

__________________

Respect his wishes of just wanting to be friends. Pushing him and bombarding him with emails and text messages isn't going to make things better. Give him space, and don't read too much into his actions.

To be honest, I've never been clingy. I've never instigated anything, hugs, msn chats ANYTHING. I've always done anything to avoid making him feel awkward. I'm not clingy or al over people and NOBODY knew I liked him. I'm quite a reserved person when it comes to showing my emotions in this way and he was gobsmacked when I told him I liked him.

I DID respect his wishes of being friends...when he told me it obviously wasn't what I wanted to hear but if it'd been left at that I'd have got over it. End of. He didn't though, he brought it all up and said all of those things like not wanting to loose me if a relationship ended and also that he wanted to be mates for a while...I respected this and agreed we should stay friends and wait to see what happened. We were fine like this for a long while until that hug.
I did not instigate the hug, I purposefully, to respect his wishes, stayed away from him a bit and didn't sit with him, gave him space...it was always him instigating things and it was HIM that asked for the hug. Even during the hug I wasn't going to hug properly and he went "you can hug me properly you know and put your arm over" ..
I can't see how I've been clingy. I can see how I've sent him 2 messages. The first message asking for explanation for my confusion as that hug was the kind of hug a boyfriend would give you.
The second message opened with "this will not be mentioned again, i just wanted you to know...."
Does this still sound like clingy?
I REALLy hope this is not clingy because I've tried all I can to respect his wishes and eventho I've liked him for 7 months during this time thngs have happened with him and my flatmate and he's been around ages and I've sad nothing etc and I've always done everything to make him unaware I like him because I didn't want to make him feel awkward.

Thank you so much for the advice ....
xx

Well,
first of all... that made my eyes hurt...

Somethings happen between friends like that. I used to like one of my best friends, I never told her though. But you told him thats the difference. you were afraid but you went for it.

Thats why I never told...

See if your afraid of trying for the fear of losing you never win.

O.k. heres my advise

Give it some time, it'll hurt but be patient. He'll talk to you again, he'll seemingly avoid you for a while, but in not too long he'll be talking to you again. People need time and space to see whats in front of their noses. Meaning he needs to figure out what he wants and so do you.

__________________
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?

Let me put it into words women understand.


"He's just not that into you."

__________________
Enlightenment is a click away:
Odin's Guide to Confidence
Why You Never Buy a Girl a Drink at a Bar
Odin Debunks the Most Annoying Quote Ever
How To Handle A Manipulative Bitch
Odin's Guide to Body Language
Odin's Guide to Why You're NOT in Love
Odin's Guide to Why You Don't Call Guys Drunk

Sounds good, you wrapped it up fast.

__________________
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?

Ouch.... :S thanks for that really blunt delivery there.

Which makes the fact that he led me on and kissed and cuddled me in a way that blatently seemed like he was "into me", so much harder to understand.

For my best friend to do that... knowing i like him ... knowing he doesn't like me...
this isn't nice.
x

He was drunk.


There's a reason why I have a girl in my phone labeled "Do Not Call Drunk."


Guys do stupid shit and get really horny when they're drunk. And he knows you like him.

Just be happy he's probably a little bitch and didn't fuck you.

__________________
Enlightenment is a click away:
Odin's Guide to Confidence
Why You Never Buy a Girl a Drink at a Bar
Odin Debunks the Most Annoying Quote Ever
How To Handle A Manipulative Bitch
Odin's Guide to Body Language
Odin's Guide to Why You're NOT in Love
Odin's Guide to Why You Don't Call Guys Drunk

No, it's not, but he was drinking.

There is nothing more you can do but give it time. He has to be the next one to make a move, whether it's to bring up "the hug" or to just ignore it all.