so me and this guy had a thing, and it recently kinda just died. we were really good friends last year, and this year he changed and we just stopped talking. not to mention i lost my virginity to him. anyways, lately hes been giving me and his cousin/my best friend alex rides to and from school, and while things arent the same, we're still cool.
but i've noticed that when he gives just me rides, which has only happened twice, without alex in the car its....awkward. when shes with us hes fine, no weirdness. but when its just us he doesn't talk, and any conversation i attempt to start he doesnt make an effort to continue. hes not rude or anything, hes just like not there.
my friend tagged along today when it was just me and him and as she says, "the only way you could have cut the tension was with a giant butcher knife". she said she felt like the third wheel, in an odd way.
so...what is up with him? i mean if he disliked me now or something i dont see why he would still give me rides so i dont think its that.
ug idk its confusing and its just been getting to me.

so any ideas thoughts....help?

Perhaps he has feelings for you still and he is just afraid to continue a relationship. 'Cause he might think that you losing your virginity wasn't the right movement in the relationship, but I dunno, talk to him as well as you can to see whats a matter.

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He sounds like a genuinely nice guy. He gives you and his cousin rides (heavily underrated commitment) and seems to remain calm. After all, getting over a relationship can be a tough thing. The media always puts out the girl's perspective... oh, just coming out of an abusive relationship... oh, how terrible. And while your relationship was not abusive, my point was that guys suffer too. There's so many misconceptions that guys get over things and simply don't care because they're the masculine ones (which we are!), but he had an attachment to you. When it was broken off, he felt and continues to feel uneasy.

I'm a bit confused by your wording... that it "kinda died." Was it a friendship with benefits, or would you call it a relationship? Who broke it off? Anyway, trying to understand 'im will just get you more frustrated and put his cousin in an even more awkard situation. Let things continue for awhile but gradually talk about general things: political race, school, sports, anything.

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So I'm moving on
I'll never forget
As you lay there and watched me
Accepting the end

Dream Theater - Disappear

well...lets see...we almost had a relationship, but we decided that for the sake of alex we shouldnt pursue it, you know for future awkwardness. but jeez we had such chemistry and passion, it was hard to ignore. so yes, we eneded up being friends with benefits, which may have been a mistake. alex knows very little about our relationship, just btw. by saying that it "kinda died" well....things just got too complicated. the mumber one rule with fwbs is that you cant get attaached, and we both were attached, so one of us was constantly feeling jealous, hurt, etc. so we just...stopped...."messing around". nothing really was said, so maybe its the lack of closure.

and by saying "let things continue for awhile" waht exactly do you mean? as in ride the awkwardness out with hope it will fade with time or what?

Ride it out.

I'm an optimist, an idealist. Things will get better. It (the tension) won't entirely fade out - there will always be that tendency to rekindle the relationship you had before. Friends after being friends with benefits is really tough. I've seen it happen before, but usually it doesn't. What's convinced me about your situation is that you said you had such good chemistry and passion. Those aren't just aspects to a sexual relationship, but friendship as well. Hope for the best, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

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So I'm moving on
I'll never forget
As you lay there and watched me
Accepting the end

Dream Theater - Disappear

just keep asking what's wrong?

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