Since you people can't seem to get your shit together, this is Chapter 2 of Sucking At Life.
*Again, names changed because you're all fucking stalkers*

Problem

So my friend Aero (yes) came to me the other day with a problem. He's been in Highschool for 2 years and there's only been one girl on his mind: Mariah. She has been his friend for awhile now, quick conversations or a hello as they pass in the hall, but she doesn't show that she likes him. He's tried but he can't get over her and he gets nervous when he approaches her about the subject. Of course, my benevolence abounds and I was more than happy to help my friend.

I told Aero to fucking get his shit together and just ask her out. Aero was extremely scared though, she's way too hot and popular to like a guy like him. He asked me to give him a few lines to say to her, in order to break the ice. Hey I thought..Why the fuck not.. since it would teach him a nice lesson. So I said, "Yeah man, spit this hot fire to her..." and told him wise words that can only be bequeathed by a god.

So of course, the next day he comes to me excited with his dick hard. "I got her man!" Of course you fucking did, I'm the man, and he proceeded to take her out that Saturday to a restaurant of my choosing. However, he calls me later and says, "Yo...she wasn't feeling me. I don't know what happened. We just didn't click." Of course you fucking didn't, and I proceeded to tell him this. So he's mad, cussing, crying, and bitching in a very female manner..I then tell him just to try again next week. He's scared of course and asks for my wise words of wisdom, so i gave him some. Ball up bitch.

So Tuesday, Aero goes to Mariah and strikes up a conversation. He then asks her out again, just to the mall on Saturday. So she decides to give him a chance and says yes. I asked him if he needed any more hot fire to spit at her, and of course, he denies. So Saturday comes and goes and come to find out, the date goes well. They walked around, talking about random things, and decided to sneak in a movie (getting kicked out of course because that shit is illegal). Now, Aero and Mariah have been dating for 3 months and he's constantly getting the greatest pussy he's ever had.

Solution

Aero's first problem was that he couldn't man up and say he liked the girl. Honestly, most girls aren't the bitches men make them out to be in their mind. Just telling a girl you feel her style shouldn't embarrass you. Just do it.
Aero's second problem was that he wanted a script to talk to Mariah. However, when he used my words to ask her out, she was expecting that same personality and killer swagger on their date. When he finally decided to just be himself around her, he found things clicked a lot better. They had fun and are now fucking constantly.

Conclusion

Women like men. Plain and simple. To be a man, you have to take the role of one, which means taking the reigns on your penis, and guiding it to women you like. Be yourself around girls and you'll find someone that really works, because they'll like you for you.

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U R So Fucking Stupid

and like you for your reigned penis, right?

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"If he done that to me I'd have beat the seven shades of shit out of him!" -Green Street Hooligans

sooo...confused
STFU

Of course.
It was a metaphor numb-nuts.

Is my advice not true, yes or no?

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y should guys fucking take advice from someone who is hated by most of the girls here.

H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T. You were there giving Aero advice all along. Aero was a shy, apprehensive guy. Your confidence boost turned him into something he was not - an arrogant guy concerned about getting laid. FYI: Mariah is most likely a stuck-up slut (by your description) who likes to be asserted.

Wrongwrongwrongwrong. Maybe you're the type of guy (or false god) who helps (per se) his friends chase the most ridiculously awful girlfriends who don't match up whatsoever with his personality simply based on their whorish appearance.

Oh, and in your next chapter... please include a section about how your advisee gets slashed across the face by an emotional, shy, attractive girl who isn't phased by a false display of assertion of fake-balls-ness.

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I am searching for the land where I will fall on my knees
and will be weeping for a long time.
Where my mind shall extend on the sky
and my heart shall speak the language of the trees
and open like a water-lily
by touches of morning sun...

Lykathea Aflame - Land Where Sympathy is Air

tsk, tsk...ouch
nailed my the moderator

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Welcome back to the stage of history...

You're an idiot. I didn't say anything about how he spoke or treated Mariah on their date. What they did afterwards had a mutual consent on both sides.

So all girls who are popular and beautiful are whorish? I see where you're going with this. Good point.

And apparently their personalities match up pretty well, since they're still together and having a good time at that.

Don't be mad at me if you can't get pussy.

A girl hasn't told me that.

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Irrelevant.


Hot is not the same as beautiful.

I'm sorry... how did he get hooked up? YOUR words. If not for YOUR words, he would not be together with Mariah. Each relationship requires some sort of initiation. If it wasn't his own initiation, the relationship is fraudulent.

__________________


I am searching for the land where I will fall on my knees
and will be weeping for a long time.
Where my mind shall extend on the sky
and my heart shall speak the language of the trees
and open like a water-lily
by touches of morning sun...

Lykathea Aflame - Land Where Sympathy is Air

I'm pretty sure that's hate