This might be a little long so bear with me.

I remember as a little girl, just laying in bed wishing I was dead because I hated my mother so much.
I do that to this day. In fact, just today I was crying hysterically and wishing I would just fall over and die.

My mother seems to put her boyfriend ahead of me in her priority list.
For example: A while ago, I asked her if we could go out to dinner because I was craving fast food, and she was like "No, I don't have the money tonight."
Then her boyfriend chimed in, "Wait! You just asked me a while ago if I wanted to go to dinner tonight and I said 'no!'"
Another example: One morning my mother was making waffles, but she only made three. One for her, one for her boyfriend, and one for me. I asked if I may have another and she stated "No! I didn't make enough batter for another one." So I was thought, "Ok, whatever, i'll just eat something else."
Soon, my mother and I were sitting on the couch eating, and her boyfriend was in the next room on the computer. She yelled to him, "Sweetie! Do you want another waffle?"
Needless to say, I about burst into tears. I mean, how could she put her boyfriend of 3 years before her daughter of much more?

Also, a few months ago I was due for an evaluation for medicine. Trust me, those appointments are not easy to get! But, she decides at the last minute, if my dad doesn't pay the $15 copay then i'm not going, regardless that I have been diagnosed with severe depression with a very minor case of OCD. (It's hard to explain, really. The OCD comes in because 1) Everything has to be perfect or i'm not happy. 2) My mind wont let stuff go, it replays it over and over and over until I start sobbing.)
But anyway, she cancelled the appointment because she didn't want to pay for it. Don't you think my health would be more important than $15?

Also, today we got in a fight over my cellphone and she kept telling me to "shutup" and that she "didn't care what I had to say".
This is what made me burst into tears.

She has been doing this kind of stuff ever since I can remember. So is ok for me to feel like I do? Or is this just my depression taking over?