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**Sir. Lucian Adonis** · #1 (**permalink**) 04-11-2008, 05:12 PM

This poem/song is dedicated to my little sister
Lauren Elizabeth(RIP, 1996)...

She would be twelve years old this month.

She was born april 1996,
born with Trisome-13 she died hours after she was born.

At the time I was six years old, and had no clue what was going on.
I dont remember anything of seeing her, or holding her, or even what i felt when she was gone.

Myself and my older brother played amazing grace at her funeral where we entombed her ashes with my great-grandmother.

That grave does not mark my sisters passing.

the last remnants of my sister beside memory are a pendant on a necklace that my father holds idiotically in his hoard of shit in our garage.
and a few pictures...

It took years for the fact I had even had a sister to make a mark on me.
even longer before the fact I had a sister and lost her came to my mind and struck me.

I believe I am the closest to my sister in memory than anyone in my family.
I know that someday I want to have a daughter and name her after my little sister.

I want to give proper tribute to my sisters passing, and someday I want to reclaim her ashes if I can and take care of her remains more respectfully than my stupid parents did.

dumping her ashes in a f***ing flower pot!!!

D*** THEM!!!

It is nearly Laurens birthday, thats why I am so upset right now.

That my parents did so little to respect her after she died.
By all realistic reasoning, Laurens ashes have long since gone.
the rain, the graveyard manager, the peopel taht changed the flowers and when the flores died or were gone, they would take the pots and clean them out and whatnot, so I imagine they are long gone.

But I will do what i can.

And this poem is tribute to her.
my sister...

Lauren Elizabeth (Rest in Peace)

**********************************

Looking through the hour-glass we see ourselves trickle down...
Little grains of human life fall and then we drown...

I dont have these things called memories
I have these living nightmares
waking I find they're still there...

Dont have the time
to keep on waking
I wish to sleep through the siezures
in comatose I'm shaking.

Grey walls of skies these little boxes
containing hearts of those who we lost
slowly beating,
dust in these veins, slowly breathing.

Wont take a chance to looking back
to see the sights which I saw past
I never realized...

The deepset pain inside my eyes...

Feeling fear of deepest torment
making sure I'm the last to arrive...

You never once opened your eyes
to look at me and smile your first smile.

You never once opened your lips
or touched to mine your fingertips
to show I care I could not see
I blocked the world just for you...

I'm sorry...for me.

For all the years since you left me
I never cried I lost my chance by you.

I didnt understand the loss
til years gone by, your so long gone.

I wish upon my weary star another wish to know where you are.

I dont want to miss you....I want you,
to be...

here forever,
in this little grey whethered box....

...for me...

***************************************

Please feel free to comment in your own way (mostly directed at the norse gods)

But I just felt like sharing my state of stress and longing and loss.

congrats, I felt inclined to share with you all.

HOWEVER!
step VERY lightlyly in this topic or I will moderate you to the moon.

so if you post well, I dont care, but if you are an idiot about your posting prepare to see some warnings come your way, if your lucky.