Normally I wouldn't ask for anyones advice, imo I think it's a sign of weakness. But only for me, if anyone asks for advice I don't think they are weak but just need a crutch. My problem is probably a little unique...

Whenever I feel like hatred or sorrow I don't show it, at all. I hold it all in and it just sorta festers inside of me I guess. I know I ain't the first to do this, but in this day of age, it isn't too common.

But the problem isn't that I want to mess with that emotion, because I don't want to show emotion, I mean sometimes I'll get angry, but most of the time i'll just hide it and say i'm not mad and laugh in the person's face. So, it's weird because it seems as time goes on and the more that builds up, the more things effect me. I mean nothing yet out of hatred has bothered me, but things like I get this strange feeling of anxiety at the end of certain books I read, movies I watch, and games I beat.

I honestly loathe it, but love it at the same time. But I do know I want to make it stop, I mean sometimes i'll just have to sit there still for awhile to make sure I don't do anything destructive. Sounds crazy I know, but imo i'd rather be doing this than crying at every little problem and getting pissed off when someone bugs me.

Usually the things that bother me are things that I really get into, like stuff i breath, drink and eat. Some examples was when I beat Final Fantasy 8, Watched whole way through Lotr series, and alot of my fav characters died off in one book in a HUGE series called Dragonlance. Those are the ones I remember.

The most recent occurence was a few minutes ago when I finished the book "The Pigman" by Paul Zindel, which sounds dumb but it isn't like a pig/man creature... I guess it's a drama but I can't think of how to classify it as. I only just got it today in English to read, she gave us 2 weeks but it's only I think 143 pages so I finished it today. So you see I wasn't even into this, I just wanted to read it to get it over with.

I'd talk about the book, but I forget how to make hide/reveal tags, so it isn't a spoiler.

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