we never think your parents will pass away when you were young. Parents do everything for us in order to be good children. We didn't understand why they did that to us. However, you will know we gotta treasure them when they are gonna pass away or you lose them. don't be sad. it's your past. just work hard on your life I think your mother wants you to be successful. your mom does love you and she still keeps you even though she would die.